Estate Planning for Utah’s Sandwich Generation: Caring for Kids and Aging Parents

Your alarm goes off at 6 AM. Before you’ve even had coffee, you’re packing lunch for your teenager, checking on whether your dad remembered to take his blood pressure medication, and mentally calculating whether you can squeeze in a grocery run between your daughter’s soccer practice and your mom’s doctor’s appointment. 

Welcome to the sandwich generation—where you’re simultaneously raising kids, caring for aging parents, and somehow trying to keep your own life together. And if you’re living in Utah, where family is everything and three-generation households are as common as Sunday dinner, you’re definitely not alone in feeling pulled in every direction. 

Here’s what nobody tells you about being in the sandwich generation: while you’re busy taking care of everyone else, you’re probably not taking care of the one thing that could protect them all—your own estate planning. 

You’re Juggling More Than Anyone Should Have To 

Let’s be honest about what your life actually looks like right now. You’re not just “busy”—you’re managing multiple full-time jobs without the title or the paycheck. 

Maybe you’re driving your mom to dialysis twice a week while your 16-year-old is asking for help with college applications. Or you’re trying to figure out how to pay for your son’s braces while also researching memory care facilities for your father who’s showing signs of dementia. 

You’re dealing with: 

• Financial pressure from all directions (college funds, medical bills, your own retirement that keeps getting pushed further away) 

• Emotional exhaustion from being everyone’s go-to person 

• Legal confusion about things like healthcare decisions, guardianship, and who can access what accounts 

• The nagging worry that if something happens to you, this whole carefully balanced system falls apart 

Why Estate Planning Feels Impossible (But Isn’t) 

The last thing you want to think about is sitting down with a lawyer to discuss wills and trusts when you can barely find time to sit down for a meal. Estate planning feels like one more thing on an already impossible to-do list. 

But here’s the thing: estate planning isn’t actually about adding more to your plate. It’s about making sure that if the worst happens, your family doesn’t have to figure everything out while they’re grieving. 

Think about it this way—you already spend your days making sure everyone else is taken care of. Estate planning is just extending that care into the future. 

The Documents That Actually Matter for Your Situation 

Forget the generic estate planning advice you see online. When you’re caring for multiple generations, you need specific tools that work for your specific reality. 

A Will That Reflects Your Real Life 

Your will isn’t just about who gets your stuff—it’s about who takes care of your kids if you can’t. Without one, a Utah judge makes that decision based on a 15-minute hearing, not on the 15 years you’ve spent knowing your children. 

And if you’re like most sandwich generation parents, your “stuff” includes not just your own assets, but potentially inherited items from your parents, college funds for your kids, and maybe even property you’re managing for aging relatives. 

A Trust That Actually Works 

Here’s where a revocable living trust can be a game-changer for families like yours. It’s not just about avoiding probate (though that’s nice)—it’s about creating a system that works even when you can’t. 

Imagine being able to say: “If I become incapacitated, this person can step in and manage not just my finances, but also the money I’m helping my parents with and the college funds I’m building for my kids.” That’s what a well-designed trust can do. 

Powers of Attorney (The Documents You’ll Actually Use) 

This is where estate planning gets practical for the sandwich generation. Healthcare and financial powers of attorney aren’t just about you—they’re tools you can use right now. 

If your parent is starting to struggle with memory issues, having them sign a power of attorney while they’re still capable means you can help manage their finances without having to go to court later. If your aging mother needs someone to talk to doctors on her behalf, a healthcare power of attorney makes that possible. 

Healthcare Directives (For Everyone’s Peace of Mind) 

Advance healthcare directives give your family clarity about your wishes if you can’t speak for yourself. But more than that, they give you permission to have these conversations with your aging parents—conversations that are much easier to have when they’re framed around “we should all do this” rather than “you need to do this.” 

The Real Talk About Utah Families 

Living in Utah means family isn’t just important—it’s everything. That’s beautiful, but it also means the stakes are higher when estate planning goes wrong. 

In Utah’s close-knit communities, when one family member doesn’t have their affairs in order, it affects everyone. Your kids, your parents, your siblings, even your neighbors who’ve become like family—they all feel the impact. 

But it also means you have resources that families in other places don’t have. Extended family networks, community support, and a culture that values taking care of each other. A good estate plan works with these strengths, not against them. 

Making This Work in Real Life 

Estate planning for the sandwich generation isn’t about creating the perfect legal structure—it’s about creating a system that actually functions in the chaos of real life. 

That means: 

• Documents that your family can actually use when they need them 

• Plans that account for the fact that you’re already managing multiple people’s needs 

• Flexibility for the changes that are definitely coming (kids growing up, parents needing more care, your own needs evolving) 

• Clear communication so everyone knows what’s expected of them 

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone 

At Gravis Law, we work with Utah families, from Orem and SLC, just like yours every day. We know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed by everyone else’s needs while trying to plan for your own future. 

We’re not going to give you a generic estate planning checklist and send you on your way. Instead, we’ll help you create a will, trust, and supporting documents that actually make sense for your complicated, beautiful, exhausting life. 

Because here’s what we’ve learned: the families who handle crisis best aren’t the ones who never face difficulties—they’re the ones who planned ahead for them. 

Ready to stop worrying about “what if” and start planning for what’s next? Contact Gravis Law today. Let’s create an estate plan that works as hard as you do to protect the people you love.